I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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