You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
