there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Drake has all the answers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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