i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
