Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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