I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
