well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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