your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no, he came in my armpit
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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