i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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