Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
