You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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