Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
