You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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