I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
