plz talk dirty to me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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