I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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