I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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