oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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