hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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