Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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