He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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