Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
