i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
