well I can't set my house on fire every night
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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