When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
