If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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