We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
