My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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