you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
