i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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