8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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