Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize