did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
