Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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