There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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