I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
