Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
