he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
