Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
