Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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