Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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