Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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