I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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