hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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