nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
