i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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