I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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