I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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