scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i love accidental penises.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
