I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
