Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
