I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
