dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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