Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
