period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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