I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
