You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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