Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
